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My Natural Hair and How I Feel When I Meet A New Guy

Friday, January 15, 2010

1. I feel as though he’ll see short, picky hair, especially when its twisted and not huge.

2. I feel he might think- “beware of her, there goes an angry black woman”- especially when my hair is out in some kind of fro.

3. I feel he might think my hair is nappy and not as pretty as 1,2 or 3 type hair and I couldn’t deal with a guy who thought of my hair in that way.

4. I fear that because he’s not use to 4b natural hair (I hardly ever see anyone with it) that his first impression won’t be of a beautiful girl but more of a “uhh I’m not quite sure but she’s ok” because I know the definition of beauty has been impacted upon by the popular media.

Please use the poll below and sound off in the comments area as well.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. Ashleigh permalink
    Monday, April 19, 2010 2:54 PM

    So, I saw this post a few months back and didn’t really have much to say b/c I wasn’t wearing my natural hair out (its was still disguised under wigs). Fast forward to this wknd when I had my gorgeous natural hair styled and out, a guy that I totally thought was out of my league and I have the biggest crush on, pulls me aside at our friend’s party and tells me how beautiful and “ill” my hair is and even noted the different styles he’d seen me with lately. I’ve also noticed that I am getting attention from men that I would have never guessed I would. I find myself attracting a better quality of men. AMAZING! Makes me so happy that I can say that this is who I truly am and men are still interested but at the same time makes me resentful of the fact that I have disguised my true beauty for so long. One thing is for sure, men in NYC love them some natural hair women. 🙂

    • Monday, April 19, 2010 7:42 PM

      This is inspirational news! I know some gals really worry about what a guy will think. I hope people read your comment and realise what possibilities are out there.

    • Tuesday, April 20, 2010 6:49 AM

      That’s great news Ashleigh. Thanks so much for sharing.

      I’ve gotten so many compliments from men just for the fact that I’m not afraid to be different from the “NORM”. lol

  2. Cresta permalink
    Thursday, February 4, 2010 11:21 PM

    well.. first of all i love this blog, this website…very very inspiring…i did the big chop in july 09 so its been almost 7 months since i cut it…at first i would protect it with weave and braids and tied up but now i go all out with my hair..i have thick kinky hair n i never loved it before but now i do, now i cant stop looking at myself in the mirror n seeing a different for men, they love it, n for those who dont, well that sucks cuz then they dont get to experience the reel me…im so confident with my kinky hair..i love it…n now i feel even more confident in knowing that when i go out n get noticed by guys i dont have to worry about what they r gonna think if they saw what my hair looked like underneath it all…they see it right there n there n i feel much better…ive gotten many compliments from guys n they love the natural black woman thing…I LOVE MY SHORT BLACK THICK KINKY HAIR…..

    • Sunday, February 7, 2010 10:05 PM

      Thanks for the compliment about my blog and thank you so much for the compliment.

      I must say I have to agree, I do feel so much more confident exposing my hair rather than feeling as if I’m hiding something which will be discovered with dismay at a later date.

      And looking in the mirror is such an awesome experience, it’s like a person has surface that had been hidden for so long.

  3. Sunday, January 31, 2010 11:00 PM

    My hair looks like yours, for the most part, but i know there are some differences.
    I cut my locs off back in sept and I feel kinda like the woman above rhonnie, I do get attention from the less superficial type (even less so since my near 3 ft of locs are gone), that is the man preferred, but still when i meet a man, like i did just the other day, i wonder what role does the hair play in his view of my physical beauty, whether he “gets” me or not. Been natural for almost nine years though, and i wouldnt compromise past a blow-out for the world, but it sucks that some men don’t get my beauty like everyone does.

    • Sunday, February 7, 2010 10:06 PM

      If your hair is anything like mine, I want some pictures!

      Also, don’t know why if you’ll get this but why did you cut your locks?

  4. Monday, January 25, 2010 12:33 PM

    The thought NEVER occurred to me. Maybe it’s where I live- but any man that I met loved the look. Guys still compliment me randomly. Maybe I never noticed the ones who didn’t notice me b/c I was getting too much other attention LOL!

    • Sunday, February 7, 2010 10:07 PM

      Where do you live?

  5. LovieDovie permalink
    Monday, January 25, 2010 11:43 AM

    Im married and I still feel a little bit of anxiety about wearing my natural hair out in public with my husband…I mainly have a fear of embarrassing him…even though he has told me that whatever i decide he’s happy with. I think it may be because Im new to my hair in its natural state and have yet to find out what works for me…come to think of It I think Im more worried about it than he is… hmm…go figure?..LOL!

  6. Wednesday, January 20, 2010 9:14 PM

    I voted “A little bit, every once and a while.” but honestly, there hasn’ t been a shortage of a man in my life since I embarked on this journey in August 2007. And these include the old and the new.

    The new do seem to be a higher quality of man though and that’s a very good thing. They are the type that see beyond the superficial and appreciate true beauty. That is the type of man that I prefer to have in my life any way so it’s a win for me.

    • Thursday, January 21, 2010 7:48 PM


      That is some food for thought honestly.

      It kind of flips how I should approach this issue in my mind.

  7. Anonymous permalink
    Friday, January 15, 2010 9:09 PM

    the first two are possibly true…to the third everyone is different some ppl are shallow and the last i can attest to that one personally

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