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Hair Opinions: Either Your Hair is Braided or It Ain’t Styled

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

     I haven’t written in a long time because I just haven’t had any time to but now that I’m up since 6 a.m. I suddenly feel as though I have the world in my hands…

     This topic was suggested to me by my sister, uncannily though, my friend G had a similar discussion with me at the same time that my sister sent me the MSN instant message.

The topic is this: either your hair is braided or it isn’t styled.


     Have you ever spent 20 minutes in the morning beautifying your loosed hair only to have someone ask you when are you going to put your hair in a style?

     For that matter, have you ever spent careful time putting your hair in an afro (I’m talking the big funky ones) only to have some one ask you when are you going to get your hair done?

     It would seem that the general consensus of the black diaspora (and non blacks but I count ignorance from non black folk, black people have no excuse, I don’t care if they’ve never seen their natural hair, that’s on them) is that your hair ain’t did unless your beautiful kinks are constrained in some fashion. I choose the word constrained because that is exactly what it is.

     It would seem that we have found another way to confuse ourselves, to hold ourselves back a bit, so that if you do embrace the blackness that is a good braid, or twist, or loc that we do so at the expense of our raw natural state. It is as if we have created a new dimension in which it is possible to be too black or too ethnic. It is as if it has now become ok to scream MY HAIR IS KINKY! while depressing its status with styles which drop it straight down a bit, prevent it from flying as it would and should. Having your hair open in a puff or fluff or fro has become the equivalent of screaming at loudest volume LOOK AT ME!, I’M BLACK! and in some cases I get the distinct idea that a loose hairstyle screams FROM WHENCEI CAME I WAS ONCE A SLAVE!



Yes, sah.

     I see this as being relevant to my post because most descriptions of black hair described wooly, tough, thick, gnarly masses which, if you haven’t been following, conjure up all the same images as if you did your hair in a puff in the 21st century.

As is usual, I welcome any explanations which you my viewer, can provide.

Keep me updated if you to have shared this trial of patience.

To getting a little loose,

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Saturday, June 12, 2010 8:36 PM

    i grew up in a predomiantly mixe’d family and my mom perm’d the crap outta my now beautiful glorious hair i was with her one day and she saw an old ex freind we were in macy’s she came right up too me and told me your hair is so damn ugly i had just left a funeral my mother brought me their for a makeover i stood their in the middle of macy’s bawling a white sale’s manager paige’d my mom from the dressing room my mom is petite i sat their crying and she stood me up and told me your hair is beautiful ok baby beautiful the sale’s manager told me i wish my hair would curl she told the lady off and told the manager i can’t make her stop crying today she was just at a funereal the manager told my mom half off a gift card honey their you go she looke’d at the lady your ugly leave my baby alone

  2. BuenaventuraAvenue permalink
    Saturday, April 24, 2010 2:11 AM

    Beyond 2nd day hair, my hair starts to get fluffier and less defined. When it gets to this point I like it best but my family (Mom, Dad, Gramma) insinuates that it’s not styled. I don’t know what they think they see but I see the imprints of plaits and I love it. I wonder what they think it will look like after I comb it…Next time someone says something, I’ll try to explain to them that combing out my hair would be like combing out a rollerset.

    • Saturday, April 24, 2010 8:32 AM


  3. Camille permalink
    Wednesday, February 17, 2010 7:41 PM

    my mom looked at me with my 4 day old wash n go as were walking through the mall. me and asked me if i intended on combing it. this is nowhere as intense as your slave hair bit. but it made me wonder if she thought curls were knots. had i combed my hair some sort of afro would have ensued and im sure she’d be even more judgemental of that, esp as it wouldn’t be a good afro

    • Sunday, February 28, 2010 3:39 AM

      does your mom have curly hair like urs under her perm?

  4. pamela kirton permalink
    Tuesday, February 16, 2010 4:56 PM

    I have vivid memories of looking out my window one day when I was about 10 years old. Why would I remember that day? Well, this white English woman, looked at my corn-row and made a ‘tut, tut’ sound. She then said to me words to the effect that I should tell my mother not to plait my hair like this anymore. I recalled not been able to verbalise my thoughts then but having this feeling that something was wrong about that statement. I can tell you that when I landed in England at 20 years old, I realised the significance of her statement. We have lived too long shying away from OUR HAIR and trying so hard to have it look just like the caucasians. I love now to have my hair blowing in the wind…

  5. Tuesday, February 16, 2010 8:42 AM

    yea i agree, i just think it sucks when that happens. i mean doing natural hair int he morning especially if u cowash in the morning takes a long time and letting your hair dry putting you at risk for head colds and what not is a vast amount of work on the natural haired woman. i feel as though we should be appreciated, now i have had the occasional, OMG i could not have done that. omg how do u handle that natural hair? so that does make me feel stronger for going natural, but damn we do not, i repeat we do not get enough positive reinforcement.

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